Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize