It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
we should paint friendship bongs
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
