This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
