too bad you live with your parents still
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
