she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
