Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
