Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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