just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
