butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You made out with two different species that night
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize