The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
