so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
