Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
