getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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