Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
