It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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