Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
