Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
