i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Four minutes until I can fart!
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
