New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I intend to get homeless drunk
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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