This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize