its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
