hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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