i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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