Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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