aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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