need another drink. this is the easiest way
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
