I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
