we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
