I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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