The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
