its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
