i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize