So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
