Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I queefed so loud it echoed.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
