you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
