I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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