Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
