OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
