If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
