if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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