Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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