She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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