It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
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