We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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