i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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