i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize