i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
