i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
The Olympian is in my bed
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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