I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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