I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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