Hey man sorry I got all grabby
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
