i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
