Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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