kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
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