At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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