The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
