Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
