Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
