Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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