matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
