this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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