do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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