It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
