just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
