Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
