Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
A+ Viking dick
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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