Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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